I’m really not sure where I’m going with this, but I’m overdue for a posting, so here it goes. A lot of clients end up coming to me because they just haven’t been able to adjust to a life change. New baby, divorce, loved one on hospice, unexpected move…whatever it may be it has derailed life for them to some degree or another. My personal nature is to always set things in order before I go forward and it’s therapeutic for me, but I can recognize it’s quite the opposite for many. But while I could empathize with people, I don’t think I could quite fully understand how things could get so out of control for them.
Monday, November 26, 2018
However, my dad experienced a life turn in August that impacted the whole family when a dear neighbor found him having a seizure in the backyard. He was stable by the time the paramedics took him to the ER and one of the first things the doctor did was take his license. Now this is a guy who spends his days running to the ends of the earth to take people wherever they need to go, taking food to people that need it, collecting rent from tenants that may or may not otherwise pay it, and making frequent repairs to all the dwellings of said tenants. Not to mention managing his own accounting and tax office. I knew we were gonna be in trouble.
This guy is the worst back seat driver at his baseline and then he went and also got a concussion during this event, leaving him unable to tolerate forward motion or light. So, while driving him to appointments with a towel draped over the visor and out the window, in giant sunglasses on the cloudiest of days, it became preferred that one drive with the flashers on while continuing 10 miles per hour below the posted speed limit. No sudden stops, and really it’s just best to roll through the stop sign altogether. Every trip takes longer than it should now and it takes three times as long to get him out the door in the first place, while he packs what I affectionately refer to as his “diaper bag.” He has to make sure he has his neck pillow, hot pack, ice pack, ibuprofen, water bottle, ear plugs, reading glasses, other glasses, sunglasses…the list goes on.
I’ve been trying for years to get him on a better diet plan, and with this scare he jumped right on board. I wanted to make sure I did everything possible to keep him on track. So now we meal plan, circle the specials in the weekly ads, and grocery shop at 2-3 different stores together on Saturday mornings. Now he drinks Kombucha everyday and sprinkles fresh-ground turmeric on everything he eats.
I would not trade any of the last 3 months for the world. We all grew closer as a family and were forced to slow down in many different ways…flashers and all! But even when life slows down, it still costs time. For every meal prepped or unexpected trip to Troy Hill, something else had to get put aside. I found myself starting to feel like I was sinking and just barely meeting every deadline. That’s when I truly knew what it was like to feel the start of the spiral to lost control. Ultimately, I think a lot of life depends on the choices we make and the confidence we have in them. I chose to shift my priorities—I spent less time with friends so I could stay home with my parents, I turned down organizing jobs that required me to travel more than I wanted, I didn’t do work for the hospital on my days off…. I could feel like a failure for giving things up and spiral further out of control, but I chose to trust and believe in God’s grace that my friends would still be there, my business would still grow, and I could still be efficient with my other obligations. So far that has remained abundantly true.
So during this month of thanks, I find myself grateful again for peace and joy in the midst of turmoil. And I’m grateful to be humbled in my own abilities. So to those of you out there feeling out of control, I see you, I get you, and I am here for you.
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