However, my dad experienced a life turn in August that
impacted the whole family when a dear neighbor found him having a seizure in
the backyard. He was stable by the time
the paramedics took him to the ER and one of the first things the doctor did
was take his license. Now this is a guy
who spends his days running to the ends of the earth to take people wherever they
need to go, taking food to people that need it, collecting rent from tenants
that may or may not otherwise pay it, and making frequent repairs to all the
dwellings of said tenants. Not to
mention managing his own accounting and tax office. I knew we were gonna be in trouble.
This guy is the worst back seat driver at his baseline and
then he went and also got a concussion during this event, leaving him unable to
tolerate forward motion or light. So,
while driving him to appointments with a towel draped over the visor and out
the window, in giant sunglasses on the cloudiest of days, it became preferred
that one drive with the flashers on while continuing 10 miles per hour below
the posted speed limit. No sudden
stops, and really it’s just best to roll through the stop sign altogether. Every trip takes longer than it should now
and it takes three times as long to get him out the door in the first place,
while he packs what I affectionately refer to as his “diaper bag.” He has to
make sure he has his neck pillow, hot pack, ice pack, ibuprofen, water bottle,
ear plugs, reading glasses, other glasses, sunglasses…the list goes on.
I’ve been trying for years to get him on a better diet plan,
and with this scare he jumped right on board.
I wanted to make sure I did everything possible to keep him on
track. So now we meal plan, circle the
specials in the weekly ads, and grocery shop at 2-3 different stores together
on Saturday mornings. Now he drinks
Kombucha everyday and sprinkles fresh-ground turmeric on everything he eats.
I would not trade any of the last 3 months for the
world. We all grew closer as a family
and were forced to slow down in many different ways…flashers and all! But even when life slows down, it still costs
time. For every meal prepped or
unexpected trip to Troy Hill, something else had to get put aside. I found myself starting to feel like I was
sinking and just barely meeting every deadline.
That’s when I truly knew what it was like to feel the start of the
spiral to lost control. Ultimately, I
think a lot of life depends on the choices we make and the confidence we have
in them. I chose to shift my
priorities—I spent less time with friends so I could stay home with my parents,
I turned down organizing jobs that required me to travel more than I wanted, I
didn’t do work for the hospital on my days off…. I could feel like a failure
for giving things up and spiral further out of control, but I chose to trust
and believe in God’s grace that my friends would still be there, my business
would still grow, and I could still be efficient with my other
obligations. So far that has remained
abundantly true.
So during this month of thanks, I find myself grateful again
for peace and joy in the midst of turmoil.
And I’m grateful to be humbled in my own abilities. So to those of you out there feeling out of
control, I see you, I get you, and I am here for you.